Sleep

Last night I laid down on my bed to read at about 8:30 and fell asleep. I slept all night. This is not normal and it happened last week too. My stomach has been feeling a bit queezy too. Since I freak out at the slightest possibility, I peed on a stick this morning. Only ONE line folks so number 6 is NOT on the way.

Could it be because of my circuit training class? Could all those situps be giving me a sore stomach? Could it be making me this tired? I thought excercise would give me more energy. Of course yesterday I was too tired to make a good dinner so we BBQed hamburgers and ate them with carrots, cucumbers and chips (Sunchips they're multigrain doesn't that make them healthy?)

Anyway I've been wiped out. You'd think with spring and more sunshine I'd be pepping up a bit. Maybe I should get out and walk more. The kids are all going crazy and if I had my windows open I'm sure the neighbours would be thinking about calling 911 so I better go.

Overheard in my circuit training class

"Hmmmph"

"Oh, jeeze"

"Uhgh"

Said by me, whine, complain, grunt. Yep, I must look so attractive in the class.

******************************************************

Instructor: "Only ten more seconds..."
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Instructor:"Five... Four..."

Me: "Ugh, that's a really long five seconds!" (I swear I have to buy the lady a stop watch)

******************************************************

Instructor: "Ok, can anybody name me some of the stations in a circuit that you could do at home?"
Other mom in the class: "The fridge, the sofa..."

Spring and Work, work, work

Yesterday I watched two of my nephews. They came over while the little ones were sleeping. They went in to my 2yo's room to wake him up. The look on his face was priceless. He was so happy to see them once he figured out he wasn't dreamiing. I took them all to the park. All the snow has melted and the sand is not frozen so they all played in the sand, even the baby (1yo). The sun was shining. It was a lovely afternoon.

SPRING! I love spring!

I haven't posted because I am swamped with work.
The kids are napping now and I have to get back to it.

But, this afternoon we are getting outside again. I feel like a prisoner set free.

Summer Employment

It is that time of year when parents have to start thinking about what their kids are going to be doing all summer. My 15yo will want to earn some money this summer.

The place where I went on retreat hires girls to work in the kitchen, serve food, clean the rooms, work in the laundry. It would be a great opprotunity. They train them in all aspects of hotelerie. They learn the proper way to present and serve food, how to set tables, fold napkins, make beds, do laundry, etc etc. Unfortunately they hire their summer staff in January. We are too late. I am still going to take her with her C.V. to meet with the woman in charge but, I don't think she will get to work there this summer.

She is going on a Leadership course tomorrow to be a counselor at an all girls camp. The camp is only for two weeks though, so what is she going to do for the rest of the summer?

My SIL suggested the Dollar store is looking for people. I've seen the girls who work there. I don't want my daughter hangin' out with them.

The past couple of years she has caddied at the Golf course but now she wants to work in the bag shop. I know what those kids are smokin' and I don't want her hangin out at the golf course either.

She has done her bronze cross and bronze madalion and next year she could be a lifeguard. When I suggested she get a job at the pool my husband was not crazy about her working at the gate. Basically she would be sitting around getting paid to do nothing.

So you can see that we don't want her just getting any job. We are concerned with what kind of influence her co-workers and her job environment will have on her. Can you tell we're a little.. not over protective... just protective of our first born? She is bright, enthusiastic, innocent, and we want to keep her that way. Maybe I could just pay her to live in a bubble all summer. Any better suggestions?

Commitment

I say he's my husband but, he's not.
We are not married. We have no piece of paper legally binding us together. This does not bother me. My parents had a piece of paper. Then their lawyers had lots of pieces of paper.

I did not expect to be with him until 'death do us part'. In the beginning of our relationship when the going got tough, I wanted him to get going or I assumed that he would. That is what my parents taught me. When you are not happy in your relationship, yell, scream, give em the silent treatment or just leave.

My parents had fierce, loud arguments. It seemed like they hated each other. I believed that the only way they could be happy was to split up. Now I think that even they could have lived with each other if they had really committed to loving each other. When you really love someone, you do not do things to intentionally hurt them.

This was a turning point for me in my relationship. Things changed, we had our son, we bought a house and it was not so easy to just leave. That is not what kept us together though. We are not 'staying together for the kids'. We are staying together because we are committed to each other. When I really dedicated myself to our life together, I realized that it did not make sense to argue about little things. I did not want to take out my anger or frustration on him because he is the person I am going to be with for the rest of my life. This was a profound shift in my attitude toward our relationship.

We still do argue, though not very often. I love him deeply, even when I'm not very attracted to him, even when he annoys or frustrates me. It is because I love him that I try to overcome my petty gripes and discuss major issues. This is his attitude as well. We are partners.

So when his sister in law asked me (again) if we were ever going to get married. I just said I don't know. I'm still waiting for him to ask me. But, I know we'll be together for as long as we're both alive so, I'm in no rush.

Runaway

Since I usually just work from home, my two little ones are not in daycare. We have this great $7/day 'national' daycare program that makes it almost impossible to find quality part time daycare. That's a rant for another day.

Today I went onsite to teach MS Excel, so my babies went to my sister in law's. She also has 5, two are in school so with my two she had 5 under 5 at her house today. She is an amazing woman.

Yesterday I told my two year old that he would be going to his cousin's house. He was so excited to be going to Yayo's (cousin's name pronounced by 2yo) house. He talked about it all afternoon. Around dinner when he got upset and we sent him to his room, he yelled:

"I . GO. YAAAYOOO'S . HOOOWS . WIIITTE . NOOOOW!"

It's a good thing he can't open the door by himself or he would have been our first kid to run away.

No rest for the wicked

I came home yesterday to find 15 emails about a project I am working on. There was no rush to get it done, until I was away. Then they decided it needed to be done for today. And, I'm going teaching tomorrow which I hardly ever do anymore. And since my husband was sick a couple of weeks ago he did not want to miss a day so, we had to arrange for his sister to watch the little ones. Long story short, I am swamped.

I really wanted to consider what I learned on my retreat and make some resolutions to continue in my everyday life. I am hoping I will have more time later in the week.

Funny story today:
My two year old had a strip of electrical tape stuck to his shirt. -No that is not the funny part and no, I don't know where he got it.
He took it off his shirt, stuck it to his chin and said "I tanta" (santa)

It was just too cute.

Mr. Incredible

He can leap over tall piles of laundry in a single bound, he can settle whining children with his lazer vision, with his super human strength he can take 5 kids to the St Patrick's parade.

My husband is awesome.

I was away all weekend on my retreat and the house was still in one piece when I returned. He did laundry, the kitchen was not covered with dishes. The kids had a great time. He took them all swimming on Saturday night and he took them all downtown on the train to see the parade on Sunday after mass.

Isn't that great? But, didn't they miss me? Am I so dispensable? My 2yo has taking a liking to Mr Incredible. He calls him 'Missusterrible'. Is that what I am to my family Mrs. Terrible wife of Mr. Incredible?

While I was away I called home. I told my 8yo I missed him. He said I miss you too. I said Oh good so you'll take me back then? This brought tears to my eyes. I am not the only one who feels this way. When my Sister in law called home her husband asked their 4yo a loaded question "Do you like it better with mommy here or away?" She held her breath waiting for the answer. Thank goodness her little girl got it right! We all want to get away. And we don't want the house to be a horrible dump when we get back but, we (or at least I) would like to think I would be missed.

So after hearing that everything was fine while I was away, I made dinner, tidied up, folded some of the perpetual laundry, and helped to put the kids to bed. Once the kids were in bed my husband came to me and said:

"You know, there is nowhere

on this earth

that you could go,

where I would not find you...

...to bring you back to help me with these kids."

Oh joy he does need me ;o)

In a perfect world

So, the babies are doing better and I'm thinking I will be able to go on this retreat. That is stressing me out more than taking care of sick kids. If I am going away I want all my laundry done before I go. I know this is impossible. I like to set my standards high. I really should have had my hair cut. I have to mop my floors. My mother is coming to sleep here tonight so I want my daughter to change all the sheets on her bed and clean her room. I am going to teach next Tuesday and it just hit me that I might not be ready. And I have no clothes. I live in my jeans and this is not a place you wear jeans. And I had no time to go shopping for clothes because my kids were sick, And, And....

I know there is a whole psychological thing going on. I am afraid to leave my family so I am finding all these excuses why I shouldn't or can't. This is only stressing me out more. I know this so shouldn't I be able to knock it off?

I always feel this way about things I look forward to. Like Christmas or Easter or vacations. I am anxious for them but, right before the time comes I think 'I haven't cleaned under my stove!' My life is not perfect yet. I need more time before I can enjoy it.

I feel this way but, I hope I don't show this to my kids. Everyday should be a holiday. Everyday my life is perfect, even if my laundry is not done and my floors are dirty. This is the only March 16 2006 I am ever going to have. I should be savouring it.

Ok, that did make me feel better.

I am going to really live in the moment and fold laundry as a meditation.

Now there's a book someone should write, The Meditation of laundry.

If I don't write again until Sunday it's because I packed my only pair of pants, one skirt and pjs and drove away screaming REEETTTRRREEEAAAT! Oh what will the neighbors say.

Mes enfants franglais

Said buy my 8yo in his best Québecois accent:

"Eh, j'ai un cerveau dans ma tête!"

Translation:
Hey, I have a brain in my head!

He said this to his sister before he told her a story about how smart he is.

I just love that they are able to switch from english to french with ease. I try to speak french as much as I can with them. Very often though I fumble for the words. I have started asking the kids for the french words for things.

RETREAT UPDATE:
Thank you for the comments about the retreat. I appreciate your thoughtful opinions. I spoke to my mother in law and was pleased that she really understood my feelings. She told me about when she had small children and she felt she should not take the time for a retreat away from her family but, she did and it was for her family that she did. Speaking with her about this meant alot to me. I have so much respect for the way she raised her 6 kids.

That being said, I took my 2yo to the doctor today and he has Pneumonia. He is on antibiotics (I hate giving antibiotics but that's another story) He should be better in a couple of days. Now the baby (11months) is sick. Feverish. She threw up all over me.

So, I'm gonna wait and see.

RETREEEAAAT! or maybe not

Oh how I dream of screaming out my car (not van) window REETREEEAAATTT! as I drive down the highway but, I am having serious doubts about actually doing it.

I have never been away from my 5 kids for more than a few hours. Even when I went to the hospital to have the last two babies I was back home with my family withiin 24 hours. I hate hospitals and with rooming in caring for a bay in the hospital while my husband is home with the other kids is no picnic.

A few years ago when I was pregnant with the boy who is now a toddler, I went away overnight for work. I flew to Toronto, big pregnant on a plane, fun. Worked all day, all evening, went to dinner (work) and then crashed in the hotel before working again the next day and flying home. Not exactly me time.

So when my sister in law wrote me a nice letter inviting me to a retreat weekend it appealed to me. I was pretty excited about the idea of having some time for myself. I have been imagining it ever since I sent in the registration. Time for meditation. No cooking, dishes or laundry. Going for a walk by myself. Reading.

But now, as the actual days draw closer, I am having second thoughts. I am supposed to leave on Thursday night so I asked my mom to come watch the two littles on Friday while my husband is at work. My mom does not usually watch my kids. She has taken the 15 yo, the 8yo and the 6yo overnight at her place a couple of times but, she has never watched my two babies.

And now, my toddler is sick, feverish and coughing.

And this retreat costs $$ and we have to pay $$ for our teen to go on a student exchange and where's the money going to come from. This retreat is not a nescessary exspense and I am just not sure we should spend the money now.

And what if I go away and end up feeling so guilty about going, that I come back feeling angry because I feel guilty. I am only thinking this because this has happened before.

I know, I know I should take care of me and it will make me more able to care for my family. I've read the articles, the books but, it is just not so easy.

Specially Marked Cereal Boxes

Everytime I go to the store I have to check to see if they have some. If they do, I have to buy at least one. I can't stop myself. I am buying things I normally never buy. Their marketing campaign has been very effective on me. I don't think I am the only one either. The boxes are disapearing fast. This only makes me want to buy more before they are all gone. There are so many boxes in my pantry cupboard we have to store the extras in the garage.

It is just SUCH A GOOD DEAL.

I think I am addicted to buying specially marked boxes of cereal.
No there are no free Jedi spoons in these boxes.

There's FREE movie tickets.

With five kids we have to buy a lot of cereal to go to the movies. So eat you Cheerios kiddies, Curious George is waiting.

It's safe to go back to the science museum

To all the people who heard the lady yelling her daughter's name at this science museum on Thursday or this science museum on Friday. Yes, that was me. Yes, we found her. Yes, she took off again. She's probably just behind some spaceship or around the corner looking at the robots. Oh, and my other daughter did manage to retrieve her watch and bracelets that fell though the mesh trampoline. She even found 2 tooneys. I'm so proud. And , that was my baby rolling on the floor. I know she's cute.

We finally got over being sick and went out to have FUN. Nothing says fun like science museums to my kids.

We took lots of pictures, at the second museum after I forgot my camera for the first one. As soon as I figure out how to get pictures off the camera I'll post some.

Now, I am so exhausted from two days of constant head counts, chasing kids and four hours of driving today, I am going to sleep. Wake me when the kids are back at school ;o)

Big Family

Chris and Carmen's Wednesday post is about the comments people make about big families.

I have to admit I've received my fair share. It also amazes me how similar the comments are. I wonder if these people think they are the first to ask if we have TV. Duh? This not a comment about my kids but, about your ignorance.

So, here are some of the replies I wish I had thought to say at the time:

"You're so brave."
Actually, my kids aren't very scary.

"You don't watch much TV do you?"
Ten out of ten doctors do not recommend TV as an effective birth control.

"Are you done?"
I don't know, how many do YOU think we should have?

However, for every inconsiderate comment, I have received many more positive ones.

My husband likes to say "When you make 'em this good, why stop?"

I don't know if the world is overpopulated, I am not a demographer and I have not studied this issue. I do know however that the world has too many neglected and badly raised kids. Any Parent who puts energy, patience and their best effort into their kids is doing their part to bring back a little balance. I also would like to salute owlhaven and others like her who adopt many kids. I have a friend who has three of her own and now she is taking in foster kids. That too requires a very special person.

So for all the mom's of many, and the moms of few and the hopeful moms to be, and the happy to be single, and the married with no kids. I think you are fine just the way you are.

Having many kids does come in handy sometimes when people want to dole out advice. Just after I had my son we were INDOORS at a mall. My other kids were with my oldest. A woman came up to me and told me the baby needed his hat on. I ignored her. She said it again. I smiled and said "He's my fourth." She said "is that your way of telling me to mind my own business?" I just smiled and walked away.

So it continues...

My son is sick... again. He had it two weeks ago and now he has it again. Thankfully I am all better but, I want to take my kids out and enjoy March Break. Instead we are disinfecting everything.

The day I ship them off to the circus

My city is the birthplace of Cirque du Soleil. So it seems fitting that when I get the stomach flu on the first day of March break I should ship at least some of my kids off to join the circus.

That's right. Even though I fumegated my entire house with many different Lysol products I still managed to catch the flu. At about 11:30 last night. How long was I allowed to be sick? Until about 8:00am. Then I better get up and shake it off because there are babies to change. Just what you want to do when your stomach is turning. My Dh mercifully helped with the kids for a bit and took the 8yo and the 6yo to a full day circus activity before he went to work.
They had a great time learning to juggle and spin plates on sticks.

I picked up one of my 15yo's friends. Her parents left her home while they went on vacation. Home, with her 23yo brother. Who told her not to come home on Saturday because he was having a party. Whth? So I figure we'll let her tag along with us this week. I just hope she doesn't get sick.

So, boring... blah blah. That's how I feel. That's how this post is.

I am still afraid to eat but I probably should. I need to get my energy back. But, hey what an awesome diet day. The flu has got to be good for losing a couple of pounds.

The weather is a bit better. sunny and -1 (celcius) So I hope to start walking in the morning before Dh leaves.

So hopefully there will be no more sick days on March break and we can get to having FUN!

The bad day that wouldn't end.

As if my day was not hectic enough yesterday...

My 8yo son went to a winter weekend camp. He had to be at a church in the city at 6:30. I rushed the kids through frozen piza dinner and drove like a crazy person to get there on time. My printer didn't work. I couldn't print a map so, I was pleased that I only got a little lost getting there. My Dh met us there. We registered our son and then...

we

waited

and

waited.

At 7:30 I decided to take the baby and 15yo home. Glad I did because Dh called at 8:30 to say the busses still were not there.

They did finally come and or son is away from family for the very first time. I hope he is having fun. The 2yo misses him alot and he keeps asking when he's coming back.

Did my day end then with a bit of relaxing and a good nights sleap? Oh No.

The 6yo was up all night throwing up.

With March Break this week I CAN NOT GET SICK. Please. Pretty Please?

My 6yo was laying around looking pathetic today and I wanted to give in and say just watch a movie but, we've given up TV. So I went to the library and picked out a bunch of books on tape for her. Some were good, some eh. We really like Radio Theatre's The Secret Garden

Can anybody recommend some good kid's book on tape audiocassettes?

Mayhem & a Small Fire

Other applicable titles for this post

"I'm Aaaalll Right"
Does anyone else recognize this from the drunk uncle in It's a Wonderful Life?

The're coming to take me away. Ha Ha Ho Ho He He
Anybody recognize this? I don't know where it's from.

This all started when I volunteered to contribute something for the Teacher Appreciation Lunch at my kids school. I do really appreciate the teachers but, I gotta stop volunteering for stuff.

So I offer to bring sausages because I think it will be easy. Broil sausages, put in foil container, bring to school. Should be a snap. Have to be there by 11:45. So here's how it goes.

10:45 Working while babies trash the play-room (no tv for lent remember)

10:50 Realize what time it is and rush upstairs calling for babies to follow me.

10:51 Go back and get little baby because toddler is torturing her. Bring both to kitchen.

10:55 Put sausages in oven. No problem plenty of time.

11:00 Turn oven on. Works better that way. No problem I should still have enough time.
I boiled the sausages so I am sure they are cooked. The last thing I wanted to contribute was food poisoning.

11:00-11:15 try to keep baby away from stove which is the ony place she wants to be, stop toddler from playing tap baby on the head with things you can find in the kitchen. Send toddler to his room. Listen to screaming baby and screaming toddler.

11:15 Check sausages, not browning fast enough, remove one tray put 2 pans on stove, move baby away from oven, spill sausage drippings, put sausages in pans, flip sausages in oven. Pull baby away from oven.

11:20 Dress baby and put her in carseat on sofa

11:23 Flip sausages

11:24 Baby screaming, toddler screaming, baby upside down in carseat toddler knocker off sofa.

11:25 Baby is fine. Decide not to take her out of car seat (NO TIME) just hug carseat and send toddler to his room.

11:27 Smoke alarm goes off, toddler screams.

11:28 Check sausages, find small fire under element. Consider putting it out, blow on it no, water, no.

TIP Even though it isn't Tuesday:
Use baking soda to put out grease fire.
(but, you all knew that)

11:30 Crazy lady stomping around my house flapping things at smoke alarm. Toddler crying, baby crying.

11:31 Throw sausages at neatly into foil pan, close lid. Call toddler to get ready.

11:32 Smoke alarm again.

11:33 Wave oven mit at smoke alarm. Open 3 windows even though it is freezing out. debate leaving the house when smoke alarm may go off, decide to risk it.

11:35 Haul baby to van.

11:36 Dress toddler in dirty jacket (another story) no time for boots, pick him up and put him in van.

11:37 Go back for sausages

11:40 regret not starting van before, it's freezing!

11:45(ish) get to kids school to deliver sausages. They better appreciate it know I appreciate them!

Return home to a HUGE mess.

Note: The teachers really do deserve my appreciation. They are great.

No children were harmed during the production of this post.
It was just chaotic. There was never any actual danger.

They pay you for that?

I don't have much time to post today. After spending way too much time reading, I decided to get some work done tonight. Not more laundry, dishes, cleaning bathrooms, mopping floors kind of manual labour work. Not the supervising homework, helping with french, breaking-up fights intense discussions amoung siblings, figuring out why my toddler has big red splotches on his face and arms, caring for a screaming baby who only wants to be held while I'm trying to make dinner, really HARD work. No, tonight I sat hunched over my keyboard and did the kind of work I actually get paid for.

Want to know what I was getting paid to do this evening? Cut and Paste. Albeit incredibly tedious cut and paste but, not exactly up there with rocket science or parenting. Lot's of taking stuff from here and putting it there and a wee bit of SQL thrown in so they couldn't replace me with a monkey. But, did I mention I am getting PAID for this.

So that's why I did not do a Thursday Thurteen about my city which is what I thought I would write today. That is because nobody would pay me to do that. They'd rather have the monkey for that one ;-)

Oh, and really my toddler has very strange red splotchy skin. I am not sure if it's from teething or him playing with the dish soap this morning? We'll just have to wait and see...

Losing the baby weight

This time last year I was desperate to shed 20lbs. I was counting the days till March 23 when the pounds would come off. This year I am again desperate to shed 20lbs. but, I think it's going to ba a lot harder to lose them this time. It's sad when you think labour and childbirth is an *easy* way to lose weight!

I am not exagerating about how desperate I was to get that baby out of me this time last year. Towards the end I checked the calendar several times a day to figure out how soon it might possibly happen. I was tired. I was in pain. I was HUGE. Oh, and my babies they just don't want to come out. I was induced with three of them after they were 2 weeks overdue. With my fourth I was induced on the day he was due. The nurses would come in and ask "Oh when were you due?" And I'd say "Today" and the'd give me a funny look and wonder why I was there but, honestly they just don't want to get OUT!

To make matters worse, even though I told my Dh in January that I wanted him to take the week of March 28-April 1 off. He 'forgot'. Let me tell you, I didn't forget I was having a baby. I didn't forget I would be coming home to a 1 year old and his three older sibling who would be hopped up on Easter chocolate and home from school for 'ped' (teacher's like long weekends) days. Once he remembered, his boss had already planned to take that week so he had to work. So, I wanted that baby out before Easter weekend so I'd have a couple of days where Dh would be around before I had to fly solo.

I was scheduled to be induced March 23. Dh stayed home. Something he never did with the others, I always sent him off to work and called him later. My mom came to watch the kids. We called the hospital and they said they were full, they would call me when there was a room. We waited, and waited. We called again in the afternoon. They said it was not going to happen that day.

I cried. I don't cry easy. I was SOOO DESPERATE to get that baby OUT.

On Sunday March 26, 2005 I started having contractions at about 8:00am and our baby girl was born by noon. A super easy labour. And a whopping big 9 1/2 lb baby girl. No wonder I was having a hard time carrying her around!

So this year I'm gonna have to lose the weight the hard way.